“Where are you from?”
It’s a common question, and one that can be quite loaded for people of diverse ethnicities.
On its face, it’s a plain question based on curiosity, filled with nostalgia, or awe.
But it could also carry covert racism and hatred, carrying the connotation of, You don’t belong here; you need to get back to your place.
The question can stir up mixed emotions for readers pertaining to their own good, or difficult, experiences. Sometimes the way it’s asked causes discomfort, or might seem instigative. Other times, the tone leaves us to think twice and make us think, better not to answer. You might decide to leave, just to be safe. It can leave a bad impression—or even a scar.
It’s natural to want to answer carefully. After all, each word we utter matters.
The most common reasons for the question can be placed into visible and invisible categories. Visible factors are things like skin tones, clothing, social status, accent, demeanor and faith markers. Invisible factors include things such as mindset, prejudices or biases based on personal experiences.
The truth is, you’ll come up against a combination of visible and invisible factors on an ongoing basis, whether you know it or not. Plus, inter-intra continental/political relations, media and other platforms subtly influence us, to various degrees. And it’s possible that one factor, or a combination of both the factors, could be prompting the question.
Keep in mind that there are moments where people’s intentions are loud and clear, while in other cases they might not be.
Sometimes people aren’t even aware of how sensitive this area is for some. But other times, the person asking doesn’t care whether they are making people feel uncomfortable with the query at all—which is a shame. In this case, the question should be met back with, ”Where are you from?”
Never forget: you get to decide how to respond. Through introspection of the hidden power of “the question”—and by consciously filtering out negative undertones—you can steer the conversation in a positive direction.
We build community through our words; through our actions we set an example for one another.
What matters is that, at the end of the day, we did our part to build a harmonious society that can be bequeathed to the next generation.
