As a Bay Area high school student, the pressure to get ready to apply for college bothered me since my freshmen year. I picked extracurriculars with admissions officers in my mind, tailored my course load to my prospective major and spent hours ruminating over potential topics for application essays. However, when it came time to actually choose where to go, I still felt underprepared. And I’m not alone.
“I felt like, in the college admissions process, there is so much of a focus on application season,” said recently graduated Prospect High School senior Nidhi Nadgir. “Everyone neglects that fact that you actually have to decide.”
It’s no secret that the college application process is stressful for high school students. And in the Bay Area, there is added pressure, compared to other places. With lots of parents working jobs that require higher-level education and the competitive nature of Silicon Valley leaking into the school newspaper, growing up here can result in plenty of anxiety about college plans. And picking where to go can be especially stressful: should I go out of California, stay closer to home, or opt for the private school experience? Each day I crossed an option off the list, based on criteria like cost or academic opportunities.
As I eliminated schools, I noticed I was starting to be swayed by silent influences.
Peer and parental pressures
Graduating senior from Prospect High School Kara Than described her experience of picking where to go to college as “stressful.”
Like many of her peers, Than originally wanted to go to a four-year program at a University of California or California State University school. However, those plans changed when she was denied admission to her top choices—leading her to consider community college.
“I was so against Community,” Than said. “But after seeing the options I did have, I felt like I didn’t have that much of a choice.”
Than notes her hesitancy around Community stemmed from a perceived stigma around attending community college.
“Sometimes they say when you do Community you weren’t smart enough to get into a four-year,” Than said. “Or it’s because, like, you have no other options. But I do have other options. (Community college) is just the best one for me.”
Than got into CSUs like Fullterton and Pomona, but opted for a college program, because she wanted a second chance to get into schools she “dreamed of”—like San Diego State University or UC Irvine.
Like Than, graduating senior Nadgir felt a similar pressure from peers when she was choosing which four-year she wanted to attend.
‘There is a certain pressure to choose a UC, because everyone else is doing it around you’
—Nidhi Nadgir, graduating senior
At the beginning of the school year, Nadgir and I both talked about our desire to go to a private, out-of-state school.
When college decisions rolled around, Nadgir had been accepted into Dartmouth College and Cornell University, which fit what she originally wanted.
Yet she still felt the pressure to choose an option that her peers found more reputable.
“Especially here in California, there is probably a lot more recognition for the UCs and CSUs,” Nadgir said. “There is a certain pressure to choose a UC, because everyone else is doing it around you.”
Nadgir stated a huge factor in deciding where to go to college was flexibility of course load and interdisciplinary learning.
(Courtesy of Nidhi Nadgir)
Since she’s still figuring out what she wants to do in the future, Nadgir believes a school that allows her to explore all her interests is the right choice.
She ultimately decided UCs could reduce some of the academic freedom she’s looking for.
“(Other) parents and stuff were like, Why don’t you just choose Berkeley; it’s so easy.” she said.
Both Than and Nadgir tried to push past external pressures by reminding themselves that their decision affects their lives more than anyone else’s.
Now, Than has chosen to go to a community college—while also pursuing beauty school on the side. Meanwhile Nadgir has decided to attend Dartmouth College, starting in the fall.
Both noted that their parents were very supportive of the path they chose.
However, that is not the case for all students.
Brady Norvall, CEO of FindaBetterU, has worked in the private college counseling space since founding the company in 2004.
FindaBetterU provides one-on-one counseling to help students navigate through the college admissions process.
Norvall notes he’s seen the impact of parents and peers on a student’s decision-making process.
The parents he works with here in America like to be very involved, and often project their own wants onto their children.
Parents “think they have this plan,” Norvall said. “They think the (college admissions process) is still the way they did it.”
Norvall notes he’s noticed how this pressure from both parents and peers tends to make things more stressful for students.
In the end, I committed to Cal Poly SLO after attending Admitted Students Day and speaking to other students there. Still, I know my mom’s excitement for me getting into SLO, and my friends’ positive view of the college, definitely swayed me to choose SLO. I’m excited for college, but, at the same time, I still can’t help but wonder if I made the right decision.
